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I was told, in the kindest way possible this morning, that I was a snob. Specifically, a snob about the finer, edible things in life. I took this as a compliment. After all, in the “religion” space on my facebook profile, I have “Sybarite“–and that wasn’t a joke. My friend went on to say that she didn’t feel like a snob, b/c she takes enjoyment from some foods that are less … gourmet. Like cheese whiz or eggo waffles. But I understand (and indulge!) like that too – don’t we all have foods that bring us back to some warm nostalgic place?
Which brings me to cold cuts. I’m not much of a sandwich eater. I certainly have never made my own salami or sausage (you can stop hoping for Deanna’s Special Turkey Sausage Recipe now!). But being a nostalgic snob, I do have opinions on the two best ways to eat cold cuts:
(1) A La Snob i.e In Europe, from a store like this one:
In this scenario, you’ve just come from the baker and the cheesemonger, and now you’re picking up the perfect salami or ham to round out your picnic. You have a 4Euro bottle of wine in your bag, you’re headed to grassy sunny nook near some impossibly beautiful architectural gem. After consuming your cold cuts and other treats, you have a nap in the grass and wake up surrounded by a rather confused looking group of Japanese tourists.
(2) With Nostalgia: Nostalgic cold cuts should be consumed at 12:05 am, at a small town wedding, after you’ve danced with your uncles and cousins, and you’ve had a few rye and coke. These coldcuts-summer sausage, shaved ham, some kind of compressed chicken product–will be served on large white trays, with orange and white cheese cubes, sweet pickles, and white buns. Don’t forget to take a few pieces of carrot and celery sticks and a little ranch dressing to round out this feast. Scarf down, then continue to eat, drink and be merry.