It’s National Fortune Cookie Day. Which is a little odd on a food blog, given that everyone knows that you don’t *eat* fortune cookies–99% of times they are stale and taste like dust (if you tasted them, which you don’t, because everyone knows you don’t eat fortune cookies!)

Which creates a bit of a quandary as to what to write on this blog. I investigated making my own fortune cookies, but the overwhelming feedback on the cooking websites is that they are finicky and hard to make well, and as you likely know by now, I don’t eat eggs (which are a critical ingredient). I could tell you about the history of the fortune cookie, but I think being a smart cookie you’ve already deduced that they are a creation of american chinese food joints, and unknown in China.

So, dear readers, I can only offer these three tips to aid in your enjoyment of your next fortune cookie:

(1) Play the lotto numbers on the back. If you win, give 1/4 of your winnings to me, as this will make you feel generous and magnanimous.
(2) If you are over the age of 18, add the words “in bed” to the end of any fortune. Makes them waaaay funnier.


1. fortune cookies, 2. Fortune Part One, 3. fortune-cookie 002, 4. Random fortune cookie I crocheted + sewed., 5. Fortune, 6. Fortune cookie! spookiest fortune everrrrr, 7. Fortune Cookies, 8. The Worst Fortune Cookie Ever