Quote from Pirates of the Caribbean: “yes, but where is all the rum gone?” Happens right after she burns all the rum in a bonfire to save the day (and because rum is apparently evil).

I can personally say that rum is evil. Let me tell you the story about meeting my mother-in-law.

I should preface this story by telling you I both love and respect my mother-in-law, Jane, immensly. She’s a very interesting person. When all of her friends were getting married and having children (right after the war after all), Jane was working every extra shift she could get and saving every penny to go travel through Europe. And travel she did. She and her girlfriend. Apparently for several months.

In my book, that’s the coolest thing ever. Then she came back and finally married Jimmy’s daddy (also Jim).

So, the first time I met Jane, I was either 23 or 24 years old (it’s so long ago, I can’t remember). Jim had invited me to a wedding in Toronto with the express purpose inflicting me upon his family (and vice versa) so that we could figure out if we liked each other.

Night one: whole group of friends come to the “Farm” (Ross vacation property) so that we can drink copiously and just hang out.

Morning one: whole group of friends leave, I’m alone with Jim and the rentals. Now what?

I’ll tell you what. Jimmy leaves me alone with his mother.

To be fair, he did ask me first. But I was young, and in love, and brave, and I wanted to impress her. So I said, “no, you go to town; I’ll stay here with you mom.”

It was 10 a.m. But Jane turned to me shortly after Jim (and Jim Sr.) left and said, “would you like a drink?”

I thought, “well, if she’s having one, so am I.” So I said, “sure would!”

The thing you need to know about Jane is that she drinks something called a “rum shortly”. It’s Jimmy’s brother Mike’s fault. Once upon a time, Mike asked Jane what she’d like to drink. And Jane said, “I’ll have a rum, shortly”. So Mikey made Jane a rum shortly. It goes like this:

RUM

and Coke

So Jane served me a rum shortly.

Two, actually.

And then I “fell asleep”.

Under the apple tree at the Farm.
When Jim and his dad came back from town, Jane said to Jim, “um, I think I broke your girlfriend”.

She was fine, of course.

My mom is also a rum fan. She takes hers with caffiene-free Diet Coke (the caffiene keeps her up at night). Hers are a little, um, less shortly.

But she enjoys enough rums and cokes that Bacardi sends her a Christmas card every year.

I’m just sayin’.

I have nothing on these ladies.

~ Eva

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